insane pregnancy brain

Why do I expect to fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes still? I mean I know some people do *ahem, Dianne, ahem* but not the majority of people. And yet, I try on my pre-pregnancy clothes and get all upset when they don't fit. I mean, I have gained about 12 lbs, so why SHOULD I still fit in those clothes? But for some reason I really think that I should. And I keep trying. I need to go through them all and put them all in storage so I stop trying them on and getting all discouraged when I can't even get my pants close to buttoning. But really, I hate wearing the same stuff all the time. I can't wait for it to get cooler so I can start wearing the clothes Anna lent to me. Argh. I really didn't think I would have a problem with body image when pregnant, but I do. I feel fat and frumpy and just yucky. I don't feel like me anymore. (and it is a given that I am VERY happy to be pregnant and wouldn't trade my baby for being skinny, so I don't have to say that everytime I complain do I?) And I don't like telling this to my friends who have never been pregnant because they give me these looks, and tell me that I should enjoy it, and it is for a reason and I should be gaining wait and blah, blah, blah like I don't KNOW that. But I am still a girl, and one who has grown up thinking about weight and seeing teeny skinny models and even though I know this is supposed to happen it is still REALLY hard to see the scale rise so fast and so much, and to not fit into any of my clothes. And it isn't like my belly is all tiny and cute and I am not gaining fat anywhere else. I am not all belly. my thighs and my but, and my back are all getting the effects. yes, whine whine, complain, complain. But really, I just never expected this part of pregnancy to be hard for me.

Wednesday night and yesterday I had a really painful two days. At about five pm on Wednesday I started getting really horrible cramps, and they didn't go away until yesterday afternoon. I couldn't really sleep on Wednesday night because of them. It was just like a really bad constant period cramp. I woke up at about 4 am and didn't fall back asleep until about 6. Called my doctor yesterday and she said to drink a lot of fluid and if it wasn't better by the afternoon to come in. Thankfully they went away yesterday afternoon, but man it was a lot of pain. I wonder if it was my uterus stretching or what?

This weekend Bonnie and I are going to Rochester, MN to visit Jess. Should be fun. Overslept this am and I don't want to be at work. Blah.

and when did I get so boring?