so nervous

I don't think I can start to describe how I feel waiting for the results. I honestly though once the amnio was over and done I would relax and feel tons better. And I do feel better having the anxiety of that lifted, but now I am in knots waiting for the results. I assumed since I wasn't too nervous about the results in the five weeks leading up to the amnio, that this week or two would be a breeze. But it is horrible. And it isn't like I wish the results would hurry up and get here. I feel terror every time the phone rings thinking is that the genetic counselor calling? It's almost as if I don't want to know. But I do. It is just that. Then we will know. There is no turning back after that. Really, I am not explaining how I feel well. But I am seriously so incredibly nervous about it all. I keep playing out the scenarios in my mind.

Matt is doing much better than I. He is very anxious to know. He even said that if she didn't call this week he wanted to call next week and see if they knew anything. But again, he is the ever optomist and still insists there is nothing wrong. He was incredibly sweet last night. I was telling him that I wanted to believe there was nothing wrong too, but I did want us to be prepared just in case, so it wasn't a horrible blow if everything was not okay. He said, "no matter what the results are, it is all going to be fine. You saw the baby, it was moving around so strong. And the heart is beating strong. Our baby will be beautiful no matter what." It made me cry, of course.