From then until now

Today I am exactly nine weeks pregnant. So obviously, things have happened thus far in the pregnancy that I want to record before moving on to the here and now.

April 27 2005~ This was the day I found out I was pregnant. I was at a conference for work in Nashville when I took the test. I had dreams the night before that I had tested and it was positive, but when I actually saw the positive on the test I couldn't believe it. I immediately started to cry and pace about my hotel room, saying (yes... out loud) "no way, it isn't true, something must be wrong with the test" (and yes I DID want to be pregnant, I just was in shock). I have taken a few pregnancy tests in the journey to this baby, and I had gotten very used to seeing negatives. I emailed my friend Dianne a picture of thest and asked if that was whatI was supposed to be seeing, or if I was crazy.
Dianne called me immediately and said that YES that looked like a positive. Of course, I spent the morning of my conference freaking out. I ended up having the hotel shuttle take me to a Walgreens so I could get a digital test. I figured even I could see the difference between a "pregnant" and a "not pregnant" on the screen. Well, the result was the same.

and again I freaked out. I think I was shaking and crying for a full ten minutes, alone in my hotel room. Since I didn't want to tell Matt over the phone, I decided to wait until I got home the next day to tell him. Thankfully I did have dinner with my friend Emily that evening so I got to tell SOMEONE. And it was so much fun being happy and excited with someone.

April 28, 2005- On my way home from my conference, after telling a women on the plane that I was pregnant, I stopped in and saw my friend Anna and her newborn Ben. It was incredible to hold a teeny tiny baby knowing that I had one growing inside me! Just insane. And I got to tell Anna which was also amazing, her excitement was just great! I stopped at a Target and bought an "I love Daddy" bib to give to Matt that night. I wrapped the first test in the bib and put it in a gift bag. When I got home, I told him that I had bought him something in Nashville. He asked if it was something country music, and I said "just open it". He did, and not even looking at the bib he picked up the test and said "you're giving me your................." and trailed off getting a shocked look on his face. Then he said "Really? Are you joking? Are you serious" and then hugged me saying "oh my gosh" about 100 times. It was incredible. We decided not to tell anyone until we told our parents on Mother's Day.

April 29, 2005- I had my first doctor's apt. which was awful. I went in and took a test to confirm. The doctor told me it came back "weakly pregnant". When I asked him if that meant anything, he said not really, but that half of all pregnancies ended in miscarriage, and if that happened then oh well, try again. I realize that he was alerting me to the dangers, but the way he did it was awful. Needless to say, I came back to my office and cried for about half an hour. As if I wasn't worried enough.

May 3, 2005- I was having some crazy scary symptoms in the morning, and everything I looked up pointed to ectopic pregnancies. Being the paranoid person that I am, I called my doctor and she wanted me to come in right away. I went in and had an exam and she sent me to have an u/s. At this point I was just a day shy of 5 weeks. The u/s was incredibly nervewracking. The u/s tech couldn't tell me anything, and told me I had to have my doctor give me the results. Then I had to wait two hours for my dr. to call. When she finally did she said that the pregnancy was in my uterus, but it was too early to really see anything. (well, other than some ovarian cysts, lovely.) It was an incredibly scary day.

May 8, 2005- We told our parents the day before Mother's Day. We had framed bibs that said "I Love Grandma" and wrapped them up as mother's day presents. My parents had invited us over for lunch, so we went there in the morning and had to wait until lunch was over to give my mom her present. My dad was making fun of us for giving it to her early, which we explained away by saying we wanted Matt there to see her open it. I couldn't wait for her reaction. Both of our moms were very excited to be grandmas! My mom unwrapped the frame and got this LOOK of sheer shock on her face, and started crying immediately. She said "really?" and then jumped out of her chair and yelled "hallelujah" (I think after 14 months she was getting sort of nervous). She cried a lot, hugged me, and asked all sorts of questions. One of the first being "Who can I call?" I had to tell her no one, as we wanted to wait to tell everyone else. My dad cried too, and told us congratulations. He is excited, but freaked out at the prospect of being called "Grandpa"

For supper, we went to Matt's parents house. Matt's mom wanted to open her present RIGHT AWAY, so I was happy for no waiting there. When she opened it she let out a shreak and got VERY excited. She called the next day and asked Matt how he had slept because she hadn't slept at all. Matt answered that he had known for a week and a half, so he was sleeping fine. Matt's dad was excited too. It was so lovely to tell them!

May 11, 2005- This was my next doctors apt. and up until that time I was F-R-E-A-K-I-N-G out big time. I had never known I would be such a scared worried pregnant person, but I was. I freaked out all the time. I was just incredibly worried. Thankfully I found a verse that calmed me down. Philippians 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds through Christ Jesus. Thankfully, that verse helped a lot. And at my apt. I had my beta levels drawn, which also came back good and calmed my nerves a bit. I do have hypothyroidism, which isn't good with pregnancy, but am taking a double dose of my medicine (per doctor's orders) and hopefully it won't cause any problems.

Frequently Asked Questions

Who have you told? Well despite wanting to wait for awhile to tell people, there was a slight mix up at my work place and EVERYONE there found out. Seeing that all of my work knew (and that is a LOT of people), I thought I ought to tell the people that I truly cared about, and that meant we told almost everyone when I was about 6.5 weeks. Much to early, as I thought... but it was quite nice to have all the excitement surrounding us.

How do you feel? Exhausted. Truly exhausted. I don't think I ever knew what tired was until now. I feel like I could sleep all the time. And my new bedtime is about 9 p.m. Been crying at sappy insurance commercials. Also feeling quite nauseous. A slight case of true morning sickness most mornings, and then an all day "motion sick" feeling on most days. And eating? Forget about it. Nothing at all sounds good. Have decided that Baby M. must be a vegetarian, because unlike mama he hates chicken. BUT, all of this is worth it. Yep, I feel like crud, but I have heard horror stories, it could be much much worse. And it is completely 100% worth it to me. Will I be happy when I am hungry for food again and not feeling like I am on a boat on the choppy ocean all the time, yep! But for now, I will take it all for the end result. And, given how incredibly worried I was for the first 7 weeks, I am doing really well now. Feeling much more calm, and just trusting in God.

Will you find out the sex? I don't want to. I want it to be a big surprise at the end. Ever since I started dreaming babydreams, I have wanted it that way. Matt wants to know, but I don't think he wants to know as bad as I don't want to know, so I think we will have to wait until January to find out with baby m is a he or a she. That being said, I will probably use "he" to talk about him, because right away I got the inkling that it was a boy. Given my success in guessing, I could be dead wrong, but we will see.

Do you have names picked out- Being the true name freak that I am, we have ideas. I have been making lists of baby names that I liked since I was in junior high. Of course, my tastes have changed dramatically since then. I don't think we will choose the exact name until we meet the little tyke, but we will narrow it down. I have decided after this past weekend that when people ask I will tell them we have some ideas but nothing definite. Because BOY does everyone have an opinion on names. I do have to say that I am aggravated that all my favorites are becoming incredibly popular. The one girl name I have had my heart set on for years is in the top ten. I haven't decided if that will change my mind yet or not, because as much as I hate super popular names, I love this name so much. And I did before it became a trend. So there.

Well, I think I am up to speed so far. My next u/s is June 9th at 9 a.m. I am incredibly excited and incredibly nervous all at once. I think after I see that hb I will calm down even more.